


Cat Scratch Fever

by Talonwillow (TalonWillow)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animal Transformation, Cats, F/M, Fluff, Potions, Sirius Black Lives, Sphynx, Transfiguration (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalonWillow/pseuds/Talonwillow
Summary: Potions Mistress Hermione is tired of hearing Sirius Black walk around Grimmauld place, talking non-stop about how much better dogs are than cats. So for Halloween, she takes matters into her own hands and creates a potion that will make Sirius experience life as a cat for a few short hours.But when the world's most vexatious hairless cat starts irritating her and leaving scars, she has to question who's learning what?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Hermione Granger
Comments: 15
Kudos: 58
Collections: Samhain Flash Comp DA Discord





	Cat Scratch Fever

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Samhain_Flash_Comp](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Samhain_Flash_Comp) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Black cats
> 
> Thank you so much to the host of this fest! 
> 
> Thank you so much to my amazing Beta. 
> 
> Warning- minor mention of a pet's passing.

"I'll show him hairballs…" Hermione proclaimed as she drained the potion's contents into Sirius's morning tea along with his required copious amounts of sugar. 

Every day Sirius Black had a new objection to her love of cats, including her precious Crookshanks. _Cat's are arseholes, hairballs are disgusting, and dogs are so much better than cats,_ he would say. 

Well, Halloween was just as good a day as any to learn not to mess with a cat-person. 

"Morning, Mi." The attractive older man yawned out as he pretended to stumble into her, 'accidentally' grabbing her arse.

"Mr. Black, I know you are not so old that you did not see me standing here." Hermione huffed at him in feigned annoyance. 

"Who are you calling old?" Sirius said as he took the tea mug out of her hands, just as she knew he would. "I'll tell you who's old- That thing you call a cat. Where is ole crabsticks anyways- Did he finally enter the big litter box in the sky?" Sirius questioned as he leaned against the kitchen table in nothing but his low-slung pajama pants and a shite-eating grin.

Hermione knew these opportunities to mess with him were rare. She sniffed back a fake hiccup, "And what if I said he had?" 

With an expression of confusion and genuine guilt, he put his cup down then went to stroke her arm lovingly. "Oh Gods, Mi, I'm so sorry. Wait, are you Serious? I really had no idea." 

Hermione never got to trap him in his so-called 'name-game'- she looked up at him with puppy-dog-eyes and replied, "No, I'm Hermione. You're Sirius." 

His grieved, emotion-filled stare turned into one of admiration that made her want to melt. He grasped at the now laughing woman and started tickling her mercilessly.

"Gods, would you two kiss already…" appeared the irritable voice of none other than Harry Potter. 

Sirius had Hermione gripped against his naked chest in what probably looked like a compromising situation. With one hand tickling under her armpit, and the other spread along her side. They both stared up at Harry before looking at each other and instantly moving apart. 

"Oh, um... Good morning Harry," Hermione blushed.

"Yeah, Morning mate. She caught me in the game. That's all." Sirius countered with a scratch to his head. 

"Harry, NO!" 

Hermione barely intercepted the hardly-awake man as he took Sirius' teacup off the counter, thinking it his own. Both men just looked at her strangely as she relinquished the mug from Harry's hands. "It's just, I made it exactly the way Sirius likes it. You would hate it- no cream, just pure sugar." 

She passed the cup to Sirius, refusing to meet his eyes. 

"Um, thanks, Love. I’m just gonna finish this in my room." Sirius scrutinized her for a moment before departing through the swinging doors. 

Hermione watched, fascinated by his departing form. 

"You spiked his tea to turn him into something vile, didn't you?" Her eyebrow shot up at Harry's correct assumption. 

"Harry, I have asked you kindly- please don't use legilimency on me." 

"Nope, no legilimency needed." 

"Ughh, am I that obvious?" Hermione whinged, horrified that even now, Sirius was dumping the tea out into a houseplant. 

"Yes and no. I went to close the window in your study, and you had left your book open to the page on animal transfiguration. But yes, you are that obvious." He snickered and pulled her into a side hug. "But knowing Sirius, he probably thinks you put a lust potion or an orgasm-enhancing draught in his tea." 

"Hmmm...." Hermione contemplated thoughtfully before she peered up at Harry and playfully smacked the man. "You know I would never do that." 

"Oh, but it's ok to turn the poor man into a bloody animal-like he's not already one?!" Harry shot back. "By the way, Just what are we in for? And please tell me it will be over before this evening's Halloween Party." 

"It's just a harmless animal transfiguration potion, that's all. He will turn into a cat for a couple of hours, understand that cats are not that bad, and finally end his whole dogs-are-better-than-cats thing. He just needs to learn a little lesson. I promise he will be better than ever before this evening." She revealed her line of thinking with a satisfying smirk. 

"Thanks, Mi," Harry Kissed her on the forehead before stating on his way out, "would've been better off doing the orgasm-enhancing…" 

Hermione was glad there was no one left inside the kitchen to see her cheeks reddening. 

* * *

Later that morning, Hermione went into the study to work for a while. Grateful for the peace and quiet around the house.

"Ouch," Hermione shrieked as a sharp needle-like pain spread across her bare foot. She kicked her leg out, sending a screeching form into the air. 

"MEEEOOOOOOWWWWWCHHHH" 

"I’m so sorry. You scared me!" Hermione announced as she went towards the strange creature crouched in the corner. She found herself staring at a very startled, aggressive, jet-black, hairless cat. As she studied the hissing adult male (and could definitely see that he was a male) cat, she inquired out loud, "Sirius, Is that you?" 

She went to pick it up, and it reared back again at her, this time flashing its pointy teeth with a long warning hiss. "Ok...." Hermione put her hands up in submission. "It won't be that bad, Sirius. You might actually enjoy it." 

She laughed to herself. Finally, the cocky man would get to see cats are just as good as dogs, if not better. 

Sitting at the couch with her book, she decided it best if she let Sirius come to her. After quite some time, she looked to her left to see a full, rounded shape prowl its way right onto her chest. The cat rotated once on her not-as-ample-as-she'd-like-but-still-just-fine-thank-you-very-much area before plopping casually across her bosom. 

"Not mad at me anymore, huh?" Hermione smiled to Sirius as he yawned with cat-breath up at her before putting his head into his front paws. As Hermione began to pet his strange buttery skin, marveling at how it almost felt like leather, he started purring lightly. 

It was intriguing to her that he would take the form of a hairless cat. It made sense that he was a black cat, but why bald? She remembered his smooth chest from earlier that morning and then thought of all the other places that Sirius might be hairless. 

The cat closed his eyes, and his purrs reverberated across her chest. Hermione was immersed in the euphoric feeling until she was forced to abandon her reading as he kept scooting his body up closer to her face. 

"Sirius, you are... right in my… oomph…" The cat chose that moment to lift his back paw up in the air and straight into Hermione's face; spreading the pads of his claws out, he started licking himself. "Sirius, do you mind."

The pad in her nose caught her off guard, causing her to sneeze. Which earned a _Yowl_ from the scared black cat while his claws dug through her soft knit sweater and into the delicate flesh underneath. "Ahhhhh…. Ok, ease up there," She cautioned while attempting to pluck the sharp talons out of her tender breasts.

As soon as she successfully disengaged him from her, she sat him on the ground and sent a soft laugh in his direction. Hermione was careful to not let him see the tears of pain as she turned and made her way out to find a first aid kit. 

* * *

After dressing her wounds, Hermione decided to have some lunch; she sat down to a bowl of fish chowder that she had been looking forward to since she picked it up the night before. The black cat jumped right up on the table, shocking her. 

"Oh gods, Sirius." She exhaled deeply.

The cat just tilted his head before sitting down and looking at her…. "Reorr…" 

"Hmmm, You want to eat with me. Ok, Let me get you some food hold on." Of course, he would want to eat his food at the table. She huffed slightly as she went to fill up Crookshank's food dish for him. Just as she was turning back around, she came to a screeching halt. The damned cat was licking the last of her chowder out of her bowl…

"No, bad dog...er...cat...er...Sirius…. That's mine." She scolded the cat that was currently licking its paws clean. He looked up at her and let out an unmistakable hiss and a feral-like growl. 

Hermione loved animals -all animals. But it was safe to say that cats held the largest spot in her heart. Mostly because of her closeness to Crooks, but also due to their cuddly cuteness. At this moment, though, there was nothing cute about this cat, sitting on their dining room table with his back leg up in the air licking at his…

"Hermione, what did you decide to dress up as tonight?" Harry came in huffing and went straight to the fridge for water, having just finished a jog. "I think I'm…." He turned suddenly and looked at the jet-black naked cat on the table. 

"Ok, what happened to two hours?" Harry challenged while resisting eye contact with what he presumed was his godfather. On the table. With his leg in the air. Tongue mid-stroke. Staring between him and Hermione.

Harry abruptly left the kitchen, laughing violently. 

Fear and doubt began to creep their way into Hermione's subconscious. It had been well over two hours now. Could she have messed something up in the potion? 

She hurried out of the kitchen, the black cat at her heels, racing towards her lab downstairs. The cat weaved through her legs, almost causing her to trip down the last five steps. 

"Damn cat." She sneered as she righted herself and walked into her lab. 

"Sirius…. No….," she shrieked almost in slow motion as she watched his long slinky tail flick back and forth, sending vials and beakers flying to the ground. All Hermione could do was stare at the stupid cat, with contempt in her eyes, as four years of work went up in poofs of smoke in his wake. 

"Seriously?" She howled into the atmosphere. 

"You just had to make things difficult, didn't you?" His slouchy-skinned posterior was bent at her, and he looked positively threatening. 

"Just when I thought I could have feelings for you, you have to go and be the biggest arsehole cat there is."

The cat shrieked at her and looked mean enough to strike her; if he had hair, it would be sticking straight up…

"Fine, Sirius Black, you win." Hermione screeched out. "Dogs are better than cats." 

"Love, while I'm glad to hear you feel that way. I'm dying to know why you are calling that wretched-looking creature, Sirius?" Declared a creamlike voice from behind her as the cat bearing her down renewed its constant yowling. 

Hermione casually turned around to see Sirius Black leaning against the back wall. 

"But…" Hermione glanced back to the angry animal that she was starting to realize was quite possibly a stray as it darted out of her lab door and up the stairs. 

Disoriented, she looked back at Sirius, mouth agape. "But your tea…" 

"Oh, yeah… the tea you clearly laced with something", Sirius answered as he casually walked towards the unquestionably bewildered woman. He raised her chin to close her still gaping mouth, leaving his hand there to stroke tenderly along her jaw. "I pitched that in the hallway plant, and by the purring I heard from it earlier, I'm assuming it was a cat transfiguration potion?" Sirius' fingers were now threading through her hair to move it aside so he could whisper in her ear. "Although, I was kind of hoping it was an Orgasm-enhancing potion." 

He planted a chaste kiss on her neck. "Now, what was that about feelings for me?" 


End file.
